Awesome through the 2nd floor window
by Bait and Switch
Summary: Matthew is prisoner in his own home. Up in the tower he is all alone. Then awesome happens! PruCan with some RusAmer. Human AU. I hope it's funny. Yeah a bit random x
1. Introduction

Okay guys. I had this on my mind for months along with a School AU which are _very_ different to my other current project. I wanted to post this before I forget it. It's a human one but you already know that. Yay! PruCan! Also 'bangers n' mash! I love it so! Also swearing! Prussians would do that in their heads, Ja?

Gilbert worked as a night cleaner for some rich American to help make ends meet. He was only 17 but had to earn some sort of living rather that of benefits. He, his brother and his brother's apparently non-boyfriend were one of those immigrants who were awarded social housing that the papers liked to complain about. This was an un-awesome secret from his friends and everyone back a home. His current employer was making groaning sounds in the dining room he had just cleaned. Not that he gave a crap like a house proud woman. That was for his brother. It's just the prospect of cleaning dried spunk off the table was not what he planned on doing tomorrow night. He was unplugging drain clogged by a combination of fat and gristle while trying to block out the sounds emanating form the room next door when something drifted through his ineffective mental barrier that turned out to very quite interesting.

"Wait, Ivan, I need to take Mattie his food." That was the American.

"No! Stay here. He will be fine without it." That was the Ruski.

Gilbert also cooked diner for his employer (Not boss as that indicates Alfred has any control of him, that twat just pays his bills) and always had to make enough food for 3 people. At first, this had confused him but he brushed it off reasoning that either Alfred was such a greedy pig he wanted two meals or Ivan needed the extra food to stay that massive to intimidate small children.

"He needs it!"

"Get the boy to take it up." That Russian never tried to learn his name, Gilbert tried this but he heard it moaned too many times. It was all ways 'boy' or 'you' or 'red-eyes' or

"FREAK! Get in here!" He had been summoned

When he entered the room he found Alfred missing several item of clothing, everything except his pants and socks, along with Ivan holding his 'friend's' trousers. Brilliant! Gilbert was so bust trying not to look at the almost-naked American he had looked at the totally-naked Russian who was glaring at him, in a very evil way.

"Take the plate up to tower, knock on the door. Leave. No lingering." Ivan was not waiting and words on him, as usual.

The evil bastard pointed his thumb towards to now cold plate of sausage and mash then got back to what he was _doing_. Gilbert grabbed the plate and ran out the door then up the stairs. He never knew why the house had a tower but it did. It was the fashion a few decades back to build a hexagonal tower into the corner of the house. He also did not know why it was forbidden for him to clean up their. So much for his original hypothesis: an upstairs-sex-dungeon. When he reached the top of the stairs he placed down the meal then knocked on the door.

A called came from the room inside then it opened.

"I was getting real hungry Al, what were - oh!" was as far as the boy got before he froze, startled, staring possibly at Gilbert's red eyes, possibly at his awesomeness. The kid in question looked a lot like Alfred, almost identical, so was probably also around 17. "You're not Al. Whispered the boy.

"Um, I'm Gilbert. The cleaner an' cook."

"Oh." The boy's curly blond hair fell in front of his face as he shrunk away from the stranger. Cute kid though. Purple eyes, too.

"Are you Mattie by any chance?"

"I-"

"OI," A shout for Alfred at the bottom of the stairs "Get the hell away from my Brother you albino weirdo!"

_O Scheiße!_


	2. Drinking in the park

Ha Ha. This is in no way similar to any fairytales. Not at all influenced by a song about fairytale that will crop up in a following chapter. No way! Also there are so many pubs called the King's/Queen's head I had to make it the Arms! Next update in half an hour, maybe?

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><p>"And<em> that's<em> how I got fired." finished Gilbert before talking another gulp of beer from its bottle. He was drinking in the park at midnight with his two best friends know collectively as: The bad friends trio, Or two perverts and a paedophile, depending on who you asked. While Francis and Gilbert were on the swings, Antonio was attempting to drink his Sangria upside down while hanging by his legs from the climbing frame. He chocked then fell off.

"Very dignified, Tonio!" laughed Francis before getting up to help his friend. The Spaniard jumped and ran over to the now empty swing.

"You snooze, you lose!"

"AH, the only snoozing I plan on doing tonight is after sex." He replied with a perverted smile. "You see, my friend, my target will be returning from the King's arms in a matter of minutes. I shall simply happen to be walking by. He will take me home then… le sex!"

It seemed that everyone was getting some except him. Not that he would ever admit it. Soon his friends went home and he was left to do a runner when the PCSOs arrived to enforce the no drinking in public places law they sometimes warned him about. Usually they just poured it out, onto the ground. When he got home he thought about that 'Mattie' who got him fired. 'No,' he decided 'It was Ivan who told me to go and his bitch just went along with it. That boy had nothing to do with it. Poor guy. No awesome in his life…' That's when Gilbert decided to climb up the gutter to visit the blond in the tower. Like the prince in Rapunzel. Just way cooler and more Prussian, rather that German.

The idea even sounded good to him after the hangover!


	3. Hello there I just broke in!

Yeah! I can update. I think this will have priority over Venus as it's so much easier to write. Ah! Why is Gilbert speaking all British? Why would he speak all American? Makes more sense that Arthur would have taught him. **Next chapter in an hour or so! I an sooooo good to you guys!**

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><p>It was one in the morning and through working there for almost 6 months he knew the idiots would all be asleep. He considered stealing a load of stuff but a scored former worker would be the first suspect. The drain pipe was an old metal one which was heavly bolted on to wall so it should be fairly safe. Plenty of windowsills and dents in the brick, too. It was perfect for climbing up. All it needed was a massive climbing wisteria or a tree. Instead it had a street of houses to see him. No lights on. That was good. He picked up his backpack then began to climb.<p>

When he reached the third window he noticed that he had been spotted. The boy was watching him from his bed. Instead of screaming for help he ran forwards, opened the window inwards then pulled the intruder inside.

"What the hell do you think you are doing!" Whispered the boy "What if you fell down?"

"Shouldn't that be 'what are you doing breaking into my house'? Anyway what's ya name?"

"Err. I'm Matthew." The boy got quiet again. Bugger! Gilbert pulled his backpack then pulled out a few presents.

"I noticed that you didn't really have much in here. So I got you a little pay-as-you go phone with £10s credit on it along with some snacks. Oh, and have a paper. I don't know if you get them up here." Matthew took the paper and quickly found the crossword. Gilbert stood up to survey to room better. It had white walls, a cream carpet and no visible blood stains. It was a good start. Part of the attic had been converted into an ensuite bathroom with a shower. A bed, desk, wardrobe and an old non-digital TV was plugged into the wall. A radio was balanced on the bedside table and an alarm clock was placed next to it. Gilbert closed the window as there was no visible central heating in the room before stilling down next to this Matthew-person. Just watching him.

"Eh?"

"_Was_?"

"Why are you doing this for me?"

"Chivalry! It is a knight's duty to aid a damsel in distress in return for his place in heaven. That and the fair maidens 'favour', you get me?"

"I'm not a girl!" Said a horrified Matthew.

"Offer still stands!"

Matthew just stared at the albino before deciding that he must have mental issues. Even so he had brought him food without any real reason. If anything he should be angry that he got him fired. Sort of. Now he just sat their watching him. Then he got up, picked up his bag then opened the window.

"See ya tomorrow! A knight must always keep his promises. Any requests? No? DFTBA!" Then he half jumped half fell out of the room.

Matthew rushed to the window only to see the idiot running back down the road to wherever the hell he lived. Matthew was still a little shell-shocked but smart enough to hide the food, phone and paper before he went to sleep. He would not want Alfred to find them or worse Ivan. While Ivan had never done anything to him the Canadian was always scared that he would. That giant was not a gentle one.

Matthew had TV and Radio in his room/prison but there was never anyway for him to get a message out. The phone had no numbers put into it but he could always call 999. Maybe Gilbert had his number. That would be quite difficult. If Gilbert did return would he be alright with a gay man asking for his number? What if he was homophobic? 'No,' Matthew reasoned with himself 'If he had anything against gays he would never had put up with listening to… what happens a lot in this house.' Not that Matthew ever got any. His 'knight' had said that the offer still stands. A very attractive knight. Who broke into his former employers house just to bring a strange person he had never seen before some snacks.

_Oooh, he brought me Monster Munch!_


	4. This is what we do, now

Yeah I'm starting to get writer's block now. I have a plan for this but the lols aint coming.

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><p>Every night Gilbert would throw a rock up at the tower to gain his princess' attention. If it was safe to come up then Matthew would open the window for him. While it would make much more sense to just call or text Gilbert dismissed the idea as the knights of old would never have been able to just call up their maidens to tell them there was a hold up of the dragon variety so they would be late or that they never texted that they could not find a wild boar so black pudding would have to do. It was stuff like that which Matthew really liked about his new friend. He even got an egg at Easter. It was a little awkward because Gilbert tried to feed it to him. It was fun until the younger got a boner which set the albino off into a fit of bizarre laughter. Kesesesesee. It sounded more like smoker's laugh than anything normal. It least it was quiet.<p>

Sometimes Gilbert would bring him books from the library to read or they would sit and listen to metal on Gilbert's mp3. Not an iPod. That was a stupid American thing. It seemed that he had a lot of hate for America. Even before he began working as a cleaner. A lot of people did around here. At least, they did back when Matthew was allowed outside.

Another thing they did was Gilbert started to teach his friend to speak German. Matthew returned this by teaching some French. It was just another thing they grew to depend on each other for.

They watched old films in the early morning and cuddled up with smuggled popcorn.

When Gilbert went out to with his other friends they questioned him about this mystery person he was meeting and when they would get to meet him. At first they got nothing. Then a name. Then a picture. One night, when Alfred and Ivan were out, Gilbert managed to bring Francis to the house. He did not explain the situation but just watched as the other two talked rapidly in French. Francis was very happy to have someone to talk to and had brought a bottle of wine for them all to share and it was a very nice evening for them all. Even when a fairly drunk Canadian started to chat up Gilbert in French causing Francis to have a laughing fit at what was probably a very explicit proposition that they both refused to translate.

Another night Matthew had prepared for his friends visit and had made a cake for his friend to try. Just a slice. He had made it but shared it with the house's other residents so only got one slice for himself but Gilbert did not need to know that. After all the blonde thought to himself how much has he spent on me. He can't be working nightshifts now, can he? All these gifts he brings me but never asks for anything. Selfless. I have nothing I can give him. This idea his Gil using him to get something crossed his mind as he thought of their inheritance and all Al's gadgets downstairs. No! Maybe the cannabis is making me skitzo too?


	5. YAY BACKSTORY

Don't you just love me? My reviewers do! HUZZAR for vauge-backstory-bullshit! (go YGOTAS reference!) I think the last upload for tonight. Look again in an 3/4 of an hour max for final chapter of this morning. It's half past midnight. YAY!

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><p>After several days of questioning, Matthew finally gave in to questioning about why he was in the tower. Proof for Gilbert that is you bug people enough you get your way.<p>

"Alfred was a very over protective brother. He has a hero complex and he sees it as his duty to protect me. Back when we lived in America and Canada I was always the shy and quite one and he was the class-clown. I had a few friends but I was kinda invisible to most of the school. Alfred was not a bully intentionally but he is very pushy and a bit of a dickhead so he lost a fair few friends. We lived right on the Canada/America border. When mum travelled to the hospital to give birth to us she had to cross the border several times. Alfred was technically born in America because of that. I was born in the hospital instead and spent a few days in an incubator. After that we moved a few times than finally over here. This house was our uncles, I think, and then he died so we moved out here. Mum and Dad had died a few months before in a train crash so it just made sense. Applied for a visa to study then just moved permanently.

"We were happy here just the two of us. We partied on our inheritance, still are I guess. The two of us got into the gay scene here and that's how Al met Ivan. Soon he moved in. Back then this was my room anyway. Just one day I woke up to find my phone and laptop gone and the door was locked. I was forbidden to leave the house. Ivan and Alfred had decided. I think it was more Ivan's decision as he is a very controlling person. I don't like it much but as long as Al is happy I guess that's fine."

Matthew let out a low sigh and sat on the bed "Sit here it's more comfortable. Anyway, Before Al met Ivan I met a guy called Lars. We never did anything but he introduced us to cannabis. He came round and we did it together, Al joined us cos he felt a little left out. Lars tried it on with me one evening but Alfred was having none of t so banned him from ever coming near me again. Al kept on the weed, though, I think its messed up his mind.

Gilbert was dumbfounded. His little Canadian was a kept prisoner by his mad brother and guessed it was fine. Not normal. The retard!

"I think I need a beer." Said Gilbert while reaching into his ever useful rucksack to bring out two cans. He threw one to his companion before downing his as fast as possible "Tasteless American swill but it's all I could get at the all-nighter. It'll give you the buzz, though."

Afterwards they lay on Matthews small bed together listening to each others storied and laughing quietly so as not to wake anyone else in the house. Maybe it could work for them. It was dangerous for him to break in every evening but he did it most nights. They had exchanged numbers long ago so texted each other regularly. There was a box of things in Matthew's wardrobe full of things brought for him including a stuffed bear who was apparently called kumajiro or something like that Gilbert told him once but the Canadian could never remember. It was their little routine which worked just fine.

Gilbert woke up in all too familiar surroundings. He was on Matthews's bed. But the sun was shining through the window and he could see a much panicked Canadian at the other end of the bed. They had slept at opposite ends, in their clothes but it did not make it any less awkward. Gilbert shot out of bed as Matthew tided up the mess they had made by shoving it all into his friend's bag before stripping off (though it made sense in retrospect it confused the hell out of his friend) and getting on the bed. Gilbert shoved his shoes on and leapt out of the window with his bag. It was five in the morning but they needed to be careful. Plus Ludwig would be worried about were he was. Going out late nearly every night with no good reason then refusing to tell his brother why he was gone. More lies in this family. There were too many things he was keeping from his brother. What's another to the pile?


	6. Monster under the bed

Last update for tonight. Somuch for a 10,000 total word target. Ho-hum. You all seem to be enjoying it so...

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><p>This was the worse case scenario. They were in <em>deep <em>shit! It was three weeks since Gilbert has fallen asleep on the bad and now he was hiding beneath it. He could see Alfred's feet from his vantage point as well as smell the vodka. Not the American's drink of choice but he knew who _really_ liked his vodka. It was no secret. There was something bad about that Ivan. Al seemed to care about his brother but his boyfriend was just plain territorial. Maybe Gilbert could smell the Russian's alcoholic piss all over the house. _Marking you territory like they dog that you are?_ Disgusting.

"Ivan said he heard something. You were talking to someone! Where are they?"

Matthew was sweating in panic. If he lost his only friend in the outside world, maybe only friend at all considering, he did not know if he could take it anymore. "NO. It was the radio, Al."

"The radio is off." He inspected it. Today he was being less of an idiot. The one day Matthew needed his brother to be stupid… "Turned off at the wall. What are you hiding?" Alfred was angry. After everything he had done to protect his brother he was keeping stuff from him. He would have called it 'insolence' if he knew what the word meant.

Matthew shifted uncomfortably beneath his brother's gaze. He prayed internally for something, anything, to come up do distract Alfred. It did.

"DUDE!" shouted Alfred "You were jacking off? Ewwwww! You gotta sort that out man. You shoulda just said. Or maybe not." The American left the room making noises before locking and bolting the door shut.

Gilbert clambered out from beneath the bed before whispering to him companion "That was too fucking close for comfort."

"Yeah."

"Gott, you actually do have a boner! Do you need a hand with that?"

"What! You have got to be kidding me! You are such an idiot."

"Yeah." Sighed the idiot "I'm kidding if you are."

With that he pulled his bad from beneath the bed and opened the window. Before climbing cautiously out as quietly as possible he gave a little salute.

_Your knight shall return._


	7. Appy birthday

_GAH! I CAN'T SLEEP. It's 4 in the morning! Have some more inbox spam!_

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><p>'Alfred and Ivan have gone away for the weekend. It's my Birthday today. They must have forgotten. They are both in Russia now.'<p>

That's what the text said. Gilbert was fairly pissed about them forgetting but had a few things to do before he came.

'Soz will b late 2nite' That's what the text said in appalling grammar. Matthew may type in full sentences because he has so much free time on account of being under house arrest but that was just indifferent. Matthew's heart sank a little lower: more birthday alone time. What a wonderful gift! After all, he spent way too much time in the company of other people or outside. He switched off the TV and his phone before walking into his bathroom for a wank. Why bother.

Gilbert had stolen a key from the Jones house not long after her got the job. He got a copy cut then returned it the next day. Smart move it turned out, but not for the original give to shady mates in return for 40% of stolen stuff. Could still work after breaking Mattie out? It was an hour after his normal visiting time of quarter to midnight. It was now one in the morning.

"Witching hour." whispered Arthur. He had brought a party along with some guests. The bad friends with their boyfriends, though he would not tell Mattie that. They walked up the stairs to find Matthew eating a muffin on top of his wardrobe.

"How the fuck did you get up there?" asked Gilbert "An' why?"

"I got bored." Came the neutral reply.

"Well I have brought you a party. We tried to find you that Lars guy but he is suffering from a bad case of visiting the family this week." And with this he threw his arms round the Canadian before shouting "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

It was certainly the best birthday he had ever had. Past parties tended to be non-existent but even if he had ones like Alfred they could never beat this. Even with his arm attached to a long chain embedded in the wall to ensure he could go as far as the fridge but not out the door. Phones had been disconnected as well.

Francis, Antonio and Lovino had all brought food and wine while Arthur had brought his laptop and load speakers so the party would have some music. Gilbert claimed he had brought his awesome but everyone knew that he had some sort of surprise lined up to produce at some point. They all sat down on the carpet, Antonio repeatedly dragging his lover closer for a hug. Introductions where quickly made before the food was opened.

"Don't worry about the mess. I think I know who to clean this house." mumbled Gilbert into his sandwich.

The thing that Matthew found funniest about his new found friends was that the couples seemed to hate each other. Antonio made his affections clear but the others seemed to bicker amongst themselves. To an outside it would look like Gilbert was the only bad friend who was no single as he had his arm around someone who was not trying to poke his eyes out with a cocktail stick or insult the others 'overactive' genitalia off. It was all a bit of a mess but that also looked to be normal.

"I guess it's not safe for you here, Mattie" Laughed Francis.

"Yeah," joined Arthur "With a cute face like that you look to be Toni's next victim. This pissed off Lovino so much he sprang to Antonio's defence.

"I was 15 and he was 17 but that's fine cos the age of consent in Spain is 13 cos there all perverts but in Italy its 14 so you can all just fuck off!" This outburst gained him another hug along with a few kisses on his cheeks.

As the night progressed his guests became either more horney or less concerned about doing things in front of people. When they started on the cake, Francis was trying to get Arthur to move over to the bed and when the cake was all gone, save the bit Antonio was licking off Lovino's face, he and Arthur were unashamedly making out on their host's bed.

It would have been quite a romantic scene for them all if it wasn't for the fact that Gilbert never made a move for the whole night. Or the early hours of the morning, considering when they arrived. Eventually the two couples made their excuses leaving Gilbert and Matthew to 'do whatever you two do when we aren't around' and clean up. Gilbert insisted on cleaning the mess up on his own before popping in the bathroom for a quick shower. After he finished he found his friend gazing out the window at the rising sun.

"Hey," he called out "Don't you want your other present?"


	8. Goodnight kiss

Have the other one, too. **Let me spam your inbox with a slight rudie. HAHA!**

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><p>Gilbert lent down to kiss him but decided against it. He had been forced to listen to Francis' ramblings about right and wrong way to do this. Then he shook all concern from his head. What did that Frenchie know. He said go strait in with the tongues for a birthday. Instead he held Matthew's wrist and brought him over to the wall. The younger found himself pressed against the cool surface by his friend's body. Gilbert brushed the blonds' hair out of the way before tilting his head to the left, making his intentions very clear. The kiss was just a peck.<p>

"Happy birthday to me, eh." breathed Matthew before moving forward for another. That kiss was a lot less coordinated. Lips closed at first but the Canadian dropped whatever was in his hand to wrap his arms around his friend's neck, pulling his hands through the mess of pale hair. They pulled apart every few seconds for air but each kiss became needier as time passed. They could hear cars on the street outside but they where too busy to look outside. Matthew took the initiative by open his mouth a little while his partner, maybe his boyfriend but neither were sure, tilted his neck further allowing him to move in from below. It was at this point they decided that it would be better to close their eyes. Weeks of being on guard were forgotten as the danger had passed. They could be safe for a while.

Gilbert remembered something his brother's boy-toy _no_ friend had said about soldiers going gay because reproductive instinct kicked in. Maybe this was what it was like: a way to forget the danger. At least until they came back for air.

An unattractive sliver or saliva joined their lips but neither minded.

Matthew broke the silence "Certainly a nice goodnight kiss."

"That was for your birthday. This is for goodnight. An' sweet dreams." Matthew found himself dragged over to his bed then pulled on top of his… someone. Looking down he saw an expression of curiosity or concern. The most prevalent, though, was lusty. Strong arms pulled him down into kiss before he was allowed to roll to the side. His head rested on the albino's chest as he could feel his hair stroked in a calming but possessive way. It would be nice to sleep like this.

So they did. 'Appy birthday mattie!


	9. Angsting is for sissys

Because we don't need more pointless angst.

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><p>Mattie's POV<p>

This was terrible. I am acting like a silly little girl fusing over a crush. He's not a crush, though. It's not love but he's my only contact with the real world. It was just a friendly kiss. Nothing to worry about. Even if it was a sign of something more then it will be followed through. The amount of hinting and flirting that has been going on would make it happen. If not, I can take the initiative. So stop whining and man up or something like that.

I hope Al is ok. He has been acting worse than usual. They seem to spend half their time having sex, now. It's hard to think with that going. I think Ivan may want me to hear it, along with however else he has hired to replace Gil. The food got really nice a week after Gil left. Got sacked. Replaced by someone else with a Eastern-European accent. It's all a big mess.

Maybe I should be having a big worry about how this is all going to turn out. I'm not.

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><p>Gil's POV<p>

I kissed him! Awesome. Got a bit of tongue in, too. Fuck Francis (no don't do that literally) an' his powers of love. I'm getting with someone with normal eyebrows who actually likes me. Not that anyone in their right minds would ever not like me.


	10. a My cutie

I was thinking of uploading a chapter a day for this thing but as a reader I hate waiting for somthing to update so I plan on fiishing this today or tomorrow. Definatly done by friday. Gah. I have to keep to that now. Note to people. Write a few chapters before uploading because waiting two or three months is a bitch. I want a good ending but it's _very _silly. And not europeans my not get the last joke. There an Italian line. Antonio would use that sort of thing to butter 'Lovi~' up. :)

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><p>It was eleven at night when Matthew herd a stone knock against the window pane. All was not safe, Ivan was helping unblock his sink. It was odd. All Ivan seemed to do was smoke, drink and shag Alfred. But the Russian also knew his way around pipes which was a small blessing. It would be hard to get a plumber in without Matthew being 'in danger'. Meanwhile Gilbert had to hide in next door's rose bush which cut him up fairly bad. After 20 minutes the signal came so he began to climb. A young man was watching him the drive way. Gilbert froze the waved at the brunette. He must be the replacement.<p>

"I live up there." lied Gilbert. If this guy was the hired help then he would not know what was up there. "Don't tell them I was out. Last person who saw me got kicked out sharpish." This appeared to do the trick as the Lithuanian nodded quickly before running into the house.

Matthew was a little concerned at this so they hid in the bathroom talking for a bit with the tap on. It was cramped for the two of them but neither minded it. After they got sick of the smell bleach they moved onto the bedroom.

"I brought you some

"I don't care."

"Pish! So inconsiderate." He grinned as he pulled his friend over to the bed. They lay there and chatted for an hour or so. About drains, the news and music. Matthew was the first to get bored of the small talk. Being alone for most of the day can make you crave conversation but right now he was craving something else entirely.

Gilbert felt a hand on the hem of his shirt. He then felt it creep beneath and up his chest. He then felt that another hand join it.

"Hey." he whispered "Repressed much?"

"Shut up." This wall all very new to the younger of the pair. His only experience of this sort of thing was from stuff on TV. That was nearly always straight so he was entirely clueless. Gilbert seemed to know what was going on as he pulled the boy closer into a hug.

Gilbert was, actually, very clueless. His only experience of affection was from watching his brother and friends with their various partners. What would Antonio do? 'Cara mia, ti voglio bene' is something he would say to Lovino when the other was angry but things were still just beginning between Mattie and himself. But… going in for Matt's language might just work. Show he cares and all that other stuff Francis went on about. Here goes nothing:

"How are you mon mimi?"

"Um, fine thanks. "

"Good~" he breathed into the blonde's hair, before giving him a quick kiss.

"You got any more of those?" Gilbert had an internal panic. Think what Francis says 'Va te faire foutr!' Go and get fucked? Not tonight!

"Mon mignon? Mon cœur? Mon poussin? Chick is quite appropriate for someone as cute you. Whatever you want me to call you, mon sucre d'orge"

"Your barley sugar! You must be going loopy."

"Yeah, maybe"


	11. b More kissin'

To my reviewer: It's crackish because I have read too many fics. I'm trying to make the story a little fresh. The ending is going to be silly as well. Ha-Ha... Ice cube fetish (That will never happen.) I'm not gonna be two descriptive with this stuff in this one. You dirty minds will fill in the rest. I get embarrassed reading this stuff let alone writing it. **Can I bother you for a review? You get a skiable semi-smut in the next chapter!**

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><p>They had got past most of the teenage awkwardness, now. Matthew was sitting on top of his friend kissing him all over. Gilbert, meanwhile, was just enjoying the view. The Canadian was hot and sweaty while he made his friend. They broke away to remove more clothing. Matthew still had his trousers but Gilbert was down to his pants. Things got awkward again.<p>

The albino tried the pressure varying thing as well as running his fingers through the others hair but to no avail. That little Canadian was still in charge. Slipping his tongue wherever he wanted to put it. Now, Gilbert knew where he really wanted it to be but at this rate he would be doing that to Mattie.

He tried to regain a little more control over the kiss but Matthew responded by pinching his side and fisting his hand into the mess of white hair. Gilbert's head jerked to the side as the aggressiveness of their kiss was scaring him a little. He was convinced he was right about that whole repression thing. Arthur, too, would sometimes flip and go on the offensive. Still it was very hot.

Matthew was also a little scared. He had watched his brother and Ivan doing this sort of thing. Some of the stuff was tantamount to abusive. He did not want to go there. But he still did as he was sick of the two of them dancing around each other. Not wanting to spoil his friendship. This was worth it!

Each of his German friend's whimpers were accompanied by moans so he had to be doing something right.

Matthew stopped, got up and walked over to his wardrobe.

"Stay there a sec will ya?"

The break gave Gilbert a moment to collect his thought. He was able to categorise them into three groups. Firstly how AWESOME this was, secondly how sexy this was and one thought about how this was beginning to look like an opening to many of his brother's DVD collection. Just the captive was doing the abusing. Then next thing he knew was that his innocent Mattie had taken a belt out of somewhere and had an evil look in his eyes. It was not that Matthew had seen much kinky stuff in his life. He just wanted to be the one in control, for a change. With this he would not be the only captive in the house.

For Gilbert it was more of a trust thing. He wanted to know that Matthew would not abuse the situation too much. The brave and noble knight was not supposed to be at the fair maiden's mercy. The belt was made of a fairly soft cloth; Gilbert noted as it was wrapped round his wrist then tied to the bed post in the corner. After he was finished Matthew stopped to survey his work. He had never done this before and had taking his advice for the ever useful mobile internet from his dear friend. Still calling him a friend even though they were about to do 'it'. Good lord! He was nervous, again.

"Um, Gil"

"Oui, Mon poussin?"

"Do you mind if I gag and blindfold you?"

This was getting way out of his comfort zone. Sure he had done it before. Even been shagged by Francis back when he was working his way through whoever he wanted.

He gulped. "If you want to then do it. Just not too tight. 3 taps is the safe word-thing, got it?"

Safe word. That's what the internet told him he needed for this sort of thing.

They could hear a commotion coming from downstairs but that was normal. Alfred screaming, most likely. Matthew had once thought his brother was disgusting for taking part in such perverted things for his boyfriend's pleasure but right now Gilbert was taking a fair amount of stuff for him right now. If one twin is gay the other is more likely to be gay as well. Maybe kinkiness ran in the family, too.

Anyway. Here goes...

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><p>See you in 12 an hour, I guess!


	12. c Skipable rude bit :

Because Seme!Canada is just made of WIN held together with spit and Maple syrup. Okay... that was a bit gross. Then again, look out naked manboys! Did not plan on it happening just like this but... yeah... Not actualy read this all through yet. Gah! This is still my chapter 11. Just 11c!

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><p>That's how Gilbert found himself bound, gagged and blindfolded in front of his Mattie. He could feel his pants being pulled off followed by a rustling sound of his partner doing the same. This was going to be good! With the blind fold he had no idea where the next touch was coming from. Even the lightest brush against his skin made him moan into his gag. Well, moan into his scarf.<p>

While Matthew was inexperienced they had talked about it. He had also searched Gilbert's bag and found lube. That's when he knew that he was going to get away with this. If the idiot had come prepared for sex then he wanted this, too. No condoms, though. Well. Matthew knew he was clean. Total virginity had it's perks!

Not really sure what he was doing, he started to push against his partner's ring with his finger. This action was rewarded with a heavly muffled groan and some squirming. He continued with a heavly lubricated finger until every thing seemed to be right. Gilbert was getting really inpatient.

The German relaxed as best he could, knowing what was coming next. He may be temporarily blind but could still feel the bed move beneath him as his partner got ready. Gilbert flinched when a pair of lips touched his chest. That little piece of affection was probably meant to reassure him. What it actually was meant to do was distract him as Matthew picked up another two makeshift rope-belts. He then used these to make crude attachments for Gilbert's legs. Now he was completely helpless. He struggled against his bonds but to no avail. It was as if the blonde had be practicing his knots.

His muted protests were rewarded by two fingers. Still well covered but the unexpected intrusion made him bite his cheek. Still hot thought Gilbert.

"Ready?" came the familiar voice from above him, even if there was no real way of replying other than tapping on the wood his hands were now gripping on to. He nodded.

The unnatural sensation of full-ness was slowly replaced by pleasure. Gilbert may have had better for rhythm but nothing a fun or interesting before. Interesting, rather than bloody weird.

Matthew lent forward as he moved. It was proving to be more difficult than he expected. Also more enjoyable than anticipated. Gilbert could feel the hot breath on his neck as well as the sweat dripping down his legs.

Then the door burst open.

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><p>HA HA CLIFF HANGER. See ya tomorrow. I have, like fifty readers, now. Only 3 reviewers. Grrrr<p> 


	13. Plot twist thingy!

So much for cliff hanger. They piss me off, too. Have the next bit. Two chapters to go! Bet you never saw THIS one comin'!

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><p>The next thing that the couple knew was that Matthew being dragged off the bed, held on his front on the ground and hands cuffed behind his back. After being untied, Gilbert received the same treatment. It was a weapons bust.<p>

Their rights were explained as they were dragged down the spiral staircase to the living room. Ivan, Alfred, the brunette that Gilbert has met on his way up were also in there along with several police officers. As they were led or dragged out of the house Alfred noticed that his brother was only wearing a blanket and that there was a fifth person in the house. He started yelling like a mad man so was treated as such but the police: pepper spray to the eyes then bundled into a separate police van to the other 'suspects'.

Ivan, however, was being very quiet. Calmly following orders that did not involve his scarf. As they were all taken out of the house, other people with gloves or sniffer dogs entered to begin looking for illegal material.

The neighbours who were woken by all the noise were watching the scene unfold from their windows. Muttering amongst themselves about how there was always something wrong about that household. As the police were only expecting three residents and because their behaviour had been very good up to that point Gilbert and the new cleaner/cook were put in the back of the same car. Apparently his name was 'Toris'. It started in silence until Gilbert got sick of it.

"I lied to you."

"What?"

"I was visiting the other blonde. I used to have your job. I got fired after seeing him. Thanks for not tellin'. Alfred's face was priceless." He laughed.

Toris just stared at the German. I must look a right state thought Gilbert to himself I'm almost naked an covered in a combination of sweat an' rope burn.  
><em>Icky!<em>


	14. Ha ha ending

Prepare for a lame ending. I'm in love with a fairytale…..It needs a silly ending. Not enough update? I wrote another story. Shameless advert!

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><p>Matthew was still waiting in custody. He had been thoroughly questioned and must not be suspected of anything as Gilbert would have explained what was going on. While British law could not accept that an individual would want pain inflicted it was only a bit of bondage.<p>

He could hear a lively violin playing in the distance. He swore loudly. He knew the he should have not watched that Eurovision rerun with Gilbert. He tried to think of something else but it did not work. Then he realised that it was not in his head. It was coming from outside. He rushed to the barred window to see his now free boyfriend playing a violin and singing.

I don't care if I lose my mind~

I'm already cuuurrrrsed.

The idiot. He must have been bailed out by that brother he goes on about. But it worked well enough. Matthew was laughing hard, his mood had much improved. It near the end of the song when another 'resident' of the station shouted out the window:

"Fuck off back to Norway!"

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><p>Request a scene if ya want to. True fact about the law thing.<p> 


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